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The Power of Validation

Arming Your Child Against Bullying, Peer Pressure, Addiction, Self-Harm, and Out-of-Control Emotions

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1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

Validation—recognizing and accepting your child's thoughts and feelings, regardless of whether or not you feel that your child should be experiencing them—helps children develop a lifelong sense of self-worth. Children who are validated feel reassured that they will be accepted and loved regardless of their feelings, while children who are not validated are more vulnerable to peer pressure, bullying, and emotional and behavioral problems.

The Power of Validation is an essential resource for parents seeking practical skills for validating their child's feelings without condoning tantrums, selfishness, or out-of-control behavior. You'll practice communicating with your child in ways that instantly impact his or her mood and help your child develop the essential self-validating skills that set the groundwork for confidence and self-esteem in adolescence and beyond.

"...There is valuable advice here. This approach takes mindfulness, patience, and a long-term vision, but parents who are able to help their children trust their emotional landscapes will have an easier time of scaffolding to higher reasoning, in addition to more secure relationships with their youngsters. Highly recommended."
—Library Journal, STARRED REVIEW, Rebecca Raszewski, University of Illinois Library, Chicago

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    • Library Journal

      Starred review from April 1, 2013

      According to the authors, validation can help children develop autonomy and a secure sense of self, and it may help prevent emotional problems and disorders. If that seems like a lofty claim, be patient for a moment more. Validation is a parenting technique for the long haul and not a response to specific circumstances or problems. Based on the premise that "our quality of life is connected to the quality of our relationships," Hall and Cook (dialectical behavior therapists) illustrate how accepting a child's feelings and thoughts (however illogical they are) teaches him to accept his own identity and perception, in turn decreasing his risk for following the tribe into dangerous behaviors. For parents, this means accepting emotional perceptions before walking a child through logical reasoning (e.g., if your daughter comes home from school claiming that she is fat and no one likes her, one should recognize and validate her feelings of disenfranchisement before outlining her faulty reasoning, which would only add self doubt to her existing feeling of disenfranchisement). VERDICT While the authors are a bit redundant in their presentation, there is valuable advice here. This approach takes mindfulness, patience, and a long-term vision, but parents who are able to help their children trust their emotional landscapes will have an easier time of scaffolding to higher reasoning, in addition to more secure relationships with their youngsters. Highly recommended.

      Copyright 2013 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

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  • English

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